Everybody dreams of entering into that perfect relationship one day. You know the one, where the person you are with shares exactly the same emotions as you, has exactly the same interests as you and ultimately really connects with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is simply never going to happen. Men and Women are far too different psychologically. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have the perfect relationship however. You just need to know how to accept and embrace the differences between men and women. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be too difficult.
If there is one difference that you need to accept between men and women, it is the way in which they communicate their feelings. Generally speaking, men tend to be very direct in the way that they communicate with people. Unlike women, they tend to say exactly what they mean, and everything that they say tends to have a specific goal in mind. It is highly unlikely that you will ever find a man discussing his feelings with another man.
The science behind gender studies has shown a woman’s brain has stronger connections between the two hemispheres, meaning she is able to hear more, see more, communicate better, and cross-reference more efficiently than the male brain, which tends to have stronger connections within each hemisphere. This allows men to focus attention more closely on a task at hand, or something they are interested in. He has a spotlight. She has a floodlight!
Women can still be direct in the way they talk, but they tend to do it in a slightly different way. Women generally want to connect with the people that they speak to; tending to share their feelings with one another due to this desire to relate. When they speak, they are often conveying emotion and working things through in their mind. Whereas men have a tendency to say it as they see it, sometimes brutally!
This difference in communication is inevitably going to cause strain in relationships from time to time. However, you can overcome this if you learn how to embrace and accept the inevitable differences.
While a man is trying to keep cool and appear to be in control at all costs, (especially in a situation that feels confrontational, or seems to be getting out of control) a woman can misinterpret their seemingly aloof exterior for lack of compassion, or disinterest in her or their relationship.
Sometimes when women fire off multiple questions at their partner (What’s wrong? What are you thinking about? Have I upset you? Why won’t you tell me?) they most likely just want to know all is OK between them. A simple ‘Everything is great, I’m just concentrating on the road/thinking about something Ben said today/feeling tired etc will ease her concern that there is a more sinister reason you are not engaging in conversation. Men dislike multiple questions and can react by shutting down to this perceived censure.Criticism is not nice and is detrimental to any relationship.
In addition to this, men need to realize that sometimes a woman isn’t speaking to a man in order to receive any specific advice. Sometimes she just wants to get things off her chest, and feel that what they are saying is worth listening to. Women feel conversation is an integral part of any relationship. It is how women connect and a little understanding of this will go a long way to ceasing unnecessary conflict before it starts.
For some fascinating reading about the differences between men and women check out Why Men Don’t Listen… and Women Can’t Read Maps, and Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus which isn’t an international best seller for nothing! A little investment of your time reading these will pay dividends in the future of all your relationships, not just your romantic ones. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the opposite sex more and make your life a whole lot simpler!