What parents need to know about the sexual abuse of children -childcaretips
1. Children rarely lie about that over them commit sexual violence, though, to protect the abuser, they may understate the nature and extent of violence.Talking about perfect on them violence, children are not only at risk of being punished by a rapist, but, at the same time, of course, contribute to the destruction of their lives. Therefore, if they talk about violence against them, it is necessary to pay attention to their words.
2. Children, like all living things, experiencing positive feelings from touch. These feelings of passivity, to a greater extent without conscious character (in the form of touch.). Adults having such knowledge and experience, should be aware that sexual activity with a child – is the exploitation of the child and inflicting harm.
3. Most often (in 75-90 percent of cases), sexual violence against children are committed by people whom children know well and trust. In more than 50 percent of cases of proven violence perpetrated fathers, stepfathers or other close family members.
4. Most often, sexual abuse of children – it is a long ongoing process by which operated close, trusting relationship established between adult and child.Often involving a child in immediate sexual activities preceded by a long period of sexual courtship.
5. Sexual abuse can happen when the baby is still in its infancy and pre-school children are considered at high risk. The most frequently subjected to violence by children 8 to 11 years.
6. Any form of sexual violence traumatizes children. Damage caused by sexual violence, is primarily emotional, it flows from the experience caused, betrayal of trust and loss of childhood. Children subjected to violence, experiencing a profound sense of isolation, shame, and anxiety, lack of self-worth. These symptoms, if left untreated, and remain in adult life. No child is psychologically not prepared for cases of violence. Even the two-, three-year child who does not know that such actions are unacceptable, there are problems that appear on his inability to cope with excessive irritation.
7. Statistics of sexual violence shows that girls are more likely than boys to suffer violence. However, a significant number of boys are also victims of violence. Most often they are sexually abused outside the family, from people to commit violence than once.
8. Sometimes children can consent to engage in sexual activity because they do not have the opportunity, experience and knowledge to provide resistance or because they fear the consequences. These children and children deprived of affection, are involved in sexual activity more often than others.
9. At first, children may like affection or attention that is paid to them. If violence continues for a long time, they may attempt to stop him. But most children are afraid of what they do not believe, or they would be punished for what they are told. Whatever the circumstances, children can not be blamed for sexual violence, which was done on them.
10. Parents who feel that they really a child sexual abuse is not threatened, are in a dangerous delusion, which can cause great harm to their family.
Tips for parents:
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Install a trusting relationship with your child |
Child psychologists recommend initially set with a child relationships based on trust in all that relates to sex. Then he react to parental warnings about sexual abuse of children with greater understanding, not a sense of guilt or fear.
First talked about sex, parents often immediately warn children about the dangers of sexual abuse, but do it in such strong terms that it is impossible for them not to see the fear felt by mom and dad. Therefore, children often try to hide the sexual harassment or violence from their parents, and at the same time feel guilty, because afraid to upset her mother or father. |
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Give the child a correct idea of the possibility of contact with strangers |
Parents should try to give the child understand that his body belongs only to him and no one else. Give your child understand that he never no adult should not touch his genitals, asking him to undress so that there is something to see (except for medical examination in his office in the presence of their parents or with their permission). If someone ever under any circumstances touching anywhere on his body, takes his camera or camcorder and nobody asks him not to tell, he must be sure to tell about it. Ask your child to tell you about every case, when someone touched him in a way that made him feel strange or uncomfortable. |
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Pay more attention to your child |
One of the most reliable ways that will help you teach a child to confront sexual violence, is to spend time with him as much as possible. Children suffering from a lack of parental attention, are more likely to show interest in the attention that can give them a rapist. The perpetrators of this kind are very well aware of children and easily master the attention of those who lack such attention at home, or those who have accumulated a lot of questions about sex, which they can not find answers. Such people are quickly into their confidence, they are able to empathize with them and understand them, making them a model for an adult to which they are drawn. |
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Be open to the child in all situations |
From the parents need to be patient and learn to listen carefully to the children when they talk about the events of his life or friends; Ask your child questions about his experiences, fears and sorrows; encourage your child to share intimate feelings – this is one of the most important conditions that help avoid trouble.
Need to be aware of the relationship of the child with other children and adults, and the secrecy surrounding the relationship toddler or teenager with others, should be alerted. |
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When cases of domestic violence try to avoid unnecessary feelings of shame, jealousy, anger towards the child |
Children five years and older, who know the offender and related personal relationships, forced to choose between love and loyalty to the man and the realization that such relationships are unacceptable. If a child tries to break this relationship, the abuser may threaten violence or lack of love. When violence occurs in the family, the child may be afraid of anger, jealousy or shame of other family members, thinking that the family will collapse if everyone will know about it. |
Children need to know:
Firmly say “no” to tell him who is able to really help – these skills are vital for any child to be dynamically vaccinate him for use in any situation that threatens his safety. The child may avoid trouble, if he knows exactly what to do, when he will be in a dangerous situation.
Peculiarities of mental state and behavior of the child, who experienced sexual violence
Preschool children are peculiar: nightmares; fears; regressive behavior (actions that are typical of younger children); unusual age of knowledge about sexual behavior and sexual games with yourself, peers or toys, outdoor masturbation.
Young children characterized by: a sharp deterioration in performance; inability to concentrate; unusual age of knowledge about sexual issues, sexually tinged behavior; anger, aggressive behavior; deterioration of relations with peers and parents who are not rapists; destructive behavior; masturbation.
Teenagers tend to depression; low self-esteem; aggressive, anti-social behavior; difficulties with gender identity; sexualised behavior; threatened or attempted suicide; use of alcohol and drugs; leaving home; violence against weaker.